A man got into a bus and found himself sitting next to a youngster who was obviously a hippy. He was only wearing one shoe.
"You've evidently lost a shoe, son."
"No man," came the reply," I found one."
It is evident to me;
That does not mean it is true.
Adapted from The Prayer of the Frog
Esther
Friday, June 3, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Hello!
Yes it is MIA claudia here.
As of right now, I am still in my hospital scrubs, and sitting here, reading all your entries and just loving all the updates and missing you guys. I have yet to bathe, I probably have half the hospital germs on me, but I really just cannot move, i feel like a lob of jelly.
So yes,I just knocked off, came home, ate a few muffins cos i was starving, watched Glee (also still in my scrubs), and now here i am. I PROMISE to bathe soon, i just can't get my butt moving.
Anyway, so, even though work has been tiring, i really enjoy my work, my colleagues, my department etc. I am left with 2.5 more weeks as a student and soon I will be officially a Registered Nurse:)
Am also looking forward to my little Mother-Daughter holiday with my mom to London and Paris!
Okay, the end of my update for the night.
Just be safe, wear seat belts in your car, and dont drink and drive. --> seen horrific cases, be safe guys. Oh and pls dont jay walk and look left and look right when crossing roads too. Road Traffic Accidents are painful, horrible, and so common here in Singapore. seen much.
be safe, eat healthy, live life, smile and enjoy your week.
CLAUD
Yes it is MIA claudia here.
As of right now, I am still in my hospital scrubs, and sitting here, reading all your entries and just loving all the updates and missing you guys. I have yet to bathe, I probably have half the hospital germs on me, but I really just cannot move, i feel like a lob of jelly.
So yes,I just knocked off, came home, ate a few muffins cos i was starving, watched Glee (also still in my scrubs), and now here i am. I PROMISE to bathe soon, i just can't get my butt moving.
Anyway, so, even though work has been tiring, i really enjoy my work, my colleagues, my department etc. I am left with 2.5 more weeks as a student and soon I will be officially a Registered Nurse:)
Am also looking forward to my little Mother-Daughter holiday with my mom to London and Paris!
Okay, the end of my update for the night.
Just be safe, wear seat belts in your car, and dont drink and drive. --> seen horrific cases, be safe guys. Oh and pls dont jay walk and look left and look right when crossing roads too. Road Traffic Accidents are painful, horrible, and so common here in Singapore. seen much.
be safe, eat healthy, live life, smile and enjoy your week.
CLAUD
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Ivan Works a Lot
Hey everyone!
Well as you probably know I've started work, just finished my first day actually. Was pretty tiring because I didn't have a good sleep the day before, probably due to being excited or whatever.
The day was like most first days go, I suppose. A lot of administration, and a lot to adapt to. But it all went smoothly; all the paperwork, getting the pass (look ghastly in my photo again haha), all the briefings, making the rounds being introduced as the new guy, setting up of my work station...
Can't remember half the names of the people I met today, but the office atmosphere is pretty chill and the boss and colleagues are great as well. Got the cubicle right outside the boss's door so still have to be on my toes hahaha.
So yeah thank God for a hassle-free first day at work. All I need are His mercies every day to see me through.
Good news also is that my weekends seem unlikely to be touched, so yay. My boss told me straight up he's not a big fan of overtimes so my weeknights may end up being available too, if it ain't the busy period. Good to know.
ivan
***
@Esther: wow, you provide the most awesome updates. :) Cheers to the new life in Christ! yeah different people experience the Holy Spirit differently when they are filled - sometimes peace, sometimes joy, sometimes warmth, sometimes crying. Do desire greatly to be filled by the Spirit (sometimes we long-time Christians get dry and forget that) but also remember that what counts is to allow the Holy Spirit to shape your life to become more like Christ. Ultimately that is the test of the Holy Spirit: by the fruit we produce in our lives. Anyhow very encouraged by your sharing!
@Eunice: No attacks was because there were no birthdays in Feb/Mar (besides Pei Xuan) right?
@Keri: hahaha thanks
@Kenneth: keep persevering through those difficult spiritual times. sorry i haven't responded to your latest sms haha still reflecting about it. you know we're all still around if you need someone to talk to.
Well as you probably know I've started work, just finished my first day actually. Was pretty tiring because I didn't have a good sleep the day before, probably due to being excited or whatever.
The day was like most first days go, I suppose. A lot of administration, and a lot to adapt to. But it all went smoothly; all the paperwork, getting the pass (look ghastly in my photo again haha), all the briefings, making the rounds being introduced as the new guy, setting up of my work station...
Can't remember half the names of the people I met today, but the office atmosphere is pretty chill and the boss and colleagues are great as well. Got the cubicle right outside the boss's door so still have to be on my toes hahaha.
So yeah thank God for a hassle-free first day at work. All I need are His mercies every day to see me through.
Good news also is that my weekends seem unlikely to be touched, so yay. My boss told me straight up he's not a big fan of overtimes so my weeknights may end up being available too, if it ain't the busy period. Good to know.
ivan
***
@Esther: wow, you provide the most awesome updates. :) Cheers to the new life in Christ! yeah different people experience the Holy Spirit differently when they are filled - sometimes peace, sometimes joy, sometimes warmth, sometimes crying. Do desire greatly to be filled by the Spirit (sometimes we long-time Christians get dry and forget that) but also remember that what counts is to allow the Holy Spirit to shape your life to become more like Christ. Ultimately that is the test of the Holy Spirit: by the fruit we produce in our lives. Anyhow very encouraged by your sharing!
@Eunice: No attacks was because there were no birthdays in Feb/Mar (besides Pei Xuan) right?
@Keri: hahaha thanks
@Kenneth: keep persevering through those difficult spiritual times. sorry i haven't responded to your latest sms haha still reflecting about it. you know we're all still around if you need someone to talk to.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
My experience with God today
Hellooo! :) well since I can't study I decided to blog.
Today Maween Keri and I went to Church of Our Saviour in the early morning at around 8.30 am because there was this really cool guest speaker called Patricia King. And so when it was time for the alter call, I went up because I wanted to know Jesus, and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. And as we were praying, I suddenly felt this big giant lump of emotions just swelling at my chest. It's quite indescribable because I don't really know what it was either. It wasn't sad or anything, but whatever it was, it was really overwhelming, and I just burst out crying. I didn't even know why I was crying! Haha. It really felt like something was pulling me, and at the same time stirring at my heart.
Wow even as I'm writing this, I'm thinking, did that really happen?
Maybe it was the Holy Spirit, but whatever it was, it was epic. In a cool way.
XX Esther
Today Maween Keri and I went to Church of Our Saviour in the early morning at around 8.30 am because there was this really cool guest speaker called Patricia King. And so when it was time for the alter call, I went up because I wanted to know Jesus, and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. And as we were praying, I suddenly felt this big giant lump of emotions just swelling at my chest. It's quite indescribable because I don't really know what it was either. It wasn't sad or anything, but whatever it was, it was really overwhelming, and I just burst out crying. I didn't even know why I was crying! Haha. It really felt like something was pulling me, and at the same time stirring at my heart.
Wow even as I'm writing this, I'm thinking, did that really happen?
Maybe it was the Holy Spirit, but whatever it was, it was epic. In a cool way.
XX Esther
Sunday, March 27, 2011
EUNICE SPEAKING:)
hello all! YES I MANAGED TO SIGN IN! somehow. hahaha.
anyway, i was just wondering...WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OUR ORIOLE OTTACKS! hahaha
anyway, i was just wondering...WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OUR ORIOLE OTTACKS! hahaha
Born Again.
Hi guys,
today as I was going home with Maween and her dad, he realised I hadn't said the sinner's prayer yet and committed my life to God. I remember saying it once with the Alpha group but back then it wasn't sincere.
So halfway while driving home, we stopped at the Holland Village car park and did a mini prayer session there.
Heeheheeehehehhehehehhehe cheers to the 'new' me! :D
esther
today as I was going home with Maween and her dad, he realised I hadn't said the sinner's prayer yet and committed my life to God. I remember saying it once with the Alpha group but back then it wasn't sincere.
So halfway while driving home, we stopped at the Holland Village car park and did a mini prayer session there.
Heeheheeehehehhehehehhehe cheers to the 'new' me! :D
esther
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I'm injured +_x
Hi
This is Kenneth reporting that he's currently on crutches and has just undergone one wisdom tooth extraction.
On Monday I fell while riding motorcycle.
We were practicing, and clocking mileage. We are supposed to ride at least 1000km before we are qualified to ride overseas. And we intend to ride overseas in a couple of months time.
We were riding around Maju Camp's 1km route say 40 times? And theres a part near warehouses where theres relatively big empty spaces to ride, maneuver.
And so foolish Kenneth decided to - this was partly for confidence and skill training and partly for fun - do some figure of 8's in the empty space. I think I was at 20-25km/h speed. Sharp turns. And unfortunately for some reason (I'm thinking my wheel was on a metal drain - less friction - at the sharpest point of a turn and I think I felt some bump) my front wheel lost its grip on the ground for a sec or so and a reflex action made me turn the bike the other way and I was able to recover balance for a while (I was trained to ride in cross country terrain) but my bike was jerky and it fell the other side. I dunno what hit what but I knew my right foot was pain. I suppose the bike slammed on my foot. The middle portion top part of my foot. I was wearing boots. But no ankle protection whatsoever. My right mirror was cracked into half. I got up after a short pause and continued riding. After one 1km we stopped riding. In two hours time I couldn't walk. I hopped or was piggy backed everywhere. You can ask Gabriel Sim, he saw me.
I went to NUH A&E at night and thankfully the X-ray showed no signs of fracture.
I was expecting a minor fracture. The pain was constantly there. I couldnt move my foot much.
The next morning I went for wisdom tooth extraction. A bit scary at first. With a somewhat stressed mood from my leg pain, I lay down at the operating bed and my body was covered with some sort of covering and my face was covered. Only my nose and mouth exposed and there was quite a bright light. Then the doctor said, "Ok its starting".
Whats starting? Felt like I was on a death bed for a moment.
But, it was ok. I'm an army boy man. Infantry Scout. Turn check "bang" check "Pain is glory" used to be what we said when we were "kelua barised". (you prolly dont understand but nvm)
A few weeks ago I went to a 2.5 day medic course. They showed us some gross pictures of people. People still alive without a nose or mouth. People with their arms ripped off and the armpit and lung area exposed. Someone who had one side of his face's flesh ripped off my the road in some motorbike accident. Sry for being explicit.
And I knew I was going to start riding motorcycle the next week. I had not ridden motorcycle for more than half a year. I dreamt that I lost balance while riding bike. Just a faint dream. But it came true. Thank God it wasn't serious.
Kenneth!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
In Time This Too Shall Pass
Heyhey Oriole:)
KJ here!
Just wanted to say that exam stress has gone away and i need someone to TEACH me the whole chapter of magnetism for Physics. Anyone keen? haha. Gay etacher dont wanna teach me!
Anyway I'm not as stressed as i was previously even though my L1R5 is gonna be quite bad this term, i'm coming to accept it, OUCHY.
I hope ya'll are fine. And I saw this tatttoo and was like yeah... Soon Imma be a free bird going out by the end of next week. So yeah. Kinda sad I mucked up my Amath Exam soooo badly. I was gonna get an A1 and now I think I'm only gonna get a b3:(
I estimate my L1R5 is gonna be 18. Oh well. Thank God it isn't 20 because my parents will murder me. HAHA.
Much Loves and make everyday count!
<3
Keriiii:)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Nursing Life
Hello people,
surprise surprise!!
Well, it's been a long journey for me but my attachment in TTSH is almost over and just thought i'd share some interesting things to you guys.
You all know i havent been going to church lately thanks to my nursing job and fatigue and sickness and other excuses, etc etc. But i can say when i'm done with this, i guess i'll be seeing you guys around church more often.
Anyway, wow what can i say, nursing life really is darn interesting. Meeting all sorts of people and seeing all sorts of cases. But i'd like to share with you guys one particular case, for interest sake.
In a C-class ward (12D, the ward i was in) you'll have about 6 cubicles with 6 patient in each room. A minium of 2 staff nurse will be assign to 2 cublicles (12 patients) and yes, it's a lot of work. On a particular day, there was a shortage of nurses and i had to help out another team and had a total of 18 patients under my care. So while i was busy doing my work and stuff, a patient started having a really bad cough. We call it a smokers cough, or chronic cough. He was a trachea patient (go google it) and had cancer. His upper respiratory tract was removed, which meant his only source of breathing was the hole in his throat. He had a tube inside and stitched to keep it intact. Blood was trickling down his throat and i alerted a staff nurse (AN - Claud you noe what an AN is right? Haha), and she just said must be due to the stitches.
*cough cough* and i saw something fly, *cough cough* and when i turned, blood was everywhere. His tube was the flying object and, if i'm not wrong, it forcefully opened a hole in his throat which exposed his atrial vien. If you know your science you should know what happened next. The curtain was quickly drawn for privacy and to prevent blood from squirting to other people. By then his shirt and sarong was already soaked and there was a pool of blood forming on the floor.
Haha, okay i cannot really reviel what happened next because it's too long and will be quite confusing. But blood was really everywhere, on nurses, bed and clothes soaked with it, on curtains and even on our emergency trolley. He did managed to survive and is currently in ICU. That was one of the worst case i've seen and one of the most exciting, i also found out i work well under pressure so cheers to me. Haha.
In addition to learning nursing stuff, i also learned about politics in the ward and the basic, first impressions. They are both very important in the working world and dont get invovled in it, because i almost got kicked out of TTSH thanks to that. The only people in my ward that didnt like me was my preceptors and they were the ones who were grading me and at the same time, gossiping and sprouting lies and what not to the higher ups. But God is gracious and the patients and staff likes me there. Always encouraging me and watching my back, giving advice to help me as my preceptors werent willing to teach me. Patients were nice enough to write in complement letters for me and feedbacks in the feedback form.
So i really have to thank God in this because i almost got kicked out of a government hospital and you can imagine where my nursing life would be heading then. A meeting was called to decide if i would stay or go and that was a huge turning moment, the decision to stay or go would affect my future and what i would become. For the older people, you should know what happens when a second chance is given also right? How they watch over you and everything.
But yeah, all in all, i really enjoyed myself and i have to say this is what God has planned for me. I finished O-level not knowing where to go, but he showed me the way. I face many struggles and hardship in the hospital, but he showed me the way. I've been yelled at, screamed by patients or their family, but all i did was laugh and smile, because they were going to die soon. Haha, kidding. I just kept my patience and i really think nursing is a good place for hot-tempered people.
And i'm not implying i'm a hot tempered person.
So cheers and enjoy your studying, you'll miss it when it's gone. Oh and dont smoke.
-Johnston
surprise surprise!!
Well, it's been a long journey for me but my attachment in TTSH is almost over and just thought i'd share some interesting things to you guys.
You all know i havent been going to church lately thanks to my nursing job and fatigue and sickness and other excuses, etc etc. But i can say when i'm done with this, i guess i'll be seeing you guys around church more often.
Anyway, wow what can i say, nursing life really is darn interesting. Meeting all sorts of people and seeing all sorts of cases. But i'd like to share with you guys one particular case, for interest sake.
In a C-class ward (12D, the ward i was in) you'll have about 6 cubicles with 6 patient in each room. A minium of 2 staff nurse will be assign to 2 cublicles (12 patients) and yes, it's a lot of work. On a particular day, there was a shortage of nurses and i had to help out another team and had a total of 18 patients under my care. So while i was busy doing my work and stuff, a patient started having a really bad cough. We call it a smokers cough, or chronic cough. He was a trachea patient (go google it) and had cancer. His upper respiratory tract was removed, which meant his only source of breathing was the hole in his throat. He had a tube inside and stitched to keep it intact. Blood was trickling down his throat and i alerted a staff nurse (AN - Claud you noe what an AN is right? Haha), and she just said must be due to the stitches.
*cough cough* and i saw something fly, *cough cough* and when i turned, blood was everywhere. His tube was the flying object and, if i'm not wrong, it forcefully opened a hole in his throat which exposed his atrial vien. If you know your science you should know what happened next. The curtain was quickly drawn for privacy and to prevent blood from squirting to other people. By then his shirt and sarong was already soaked and there was a pool of blood forming on the floor.
Haha, okay i cannot really reviel what happened next because it's too long and will be quite confusing. But blood was really everywhere, on nurses, bed and clothes soaked with it, on curtains and even on our emergency trolley. He did managed to survive and is currently in ICU. That was one of the worst case i've seen and one of the most exciting, i also found out i work well under pressure so cheers to me. Haha.
In addition to learning nursing stuff, i also learned about politics in the ward and the basic, first impressions. They are both very important in the working world and dont get invovled in it, because i almost got kicked out of TTSH thanks to that. The only people in my ward that didnt like me was my preceptors and they were the ones who were grading me and at the same time, gossiping and sprouting lies and what not to the higher ups. But God is gracious and the patients and staff likes me there. Always encouraging me and watching my back, giving advice to help me as my preceptors werent willing to teach me. Patients were nice enough to write in complement letters for me and feedbacks in the feedback form.
So i really have to thank God in this because i almost got kicked out of a government hospital and you can imagine where my nursing life would be heading then. A meeting was called to decide if i would stay or go and that was a huge turning moment, the decision to stay or go would affect my future and what i would become. For the older people, you should know what happens when a second chance is given also right? How they watch over you and everything.
But yeah, all in all, i really enjoyed myself and i have to say this is what God has planned for me. I finished O-level not knowing where to go, but he showed me the way. I face many struggles and hardship in the hospital, but he showed me the way. I've been yelled at, screamed by patients or their family, but all i did was laugh and smile, because they were going to die soon. Haha, kidding. I just kept my patience and i really think nursing is a good place for hot-tempered people.
And i'm not implying i'm a hot tempered person.
So cheers and enjoy your studying, you'll miss it when it's gone. Oh and dont smoke.
-Johnston
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day!
Hello Oriole happy Valentine's Day!
Wow we set an Oriole record at Botanics yesterday. 16 people! Nice.
How's my February? Well I'm moving into Phase 2 of Job Hunt, which is expanding my job search parameters a bit, haha. My account is now up and running on Careers@Gov and constantly monitoring for whatever new jobs that strike my fancy... finally got resume, referees, etc etc down pat so I don't have to scramble around filling out forms and stuff! [By the way, advice to JC, poly and uni people: please stay in touch with at least 2 of your favourite teachers / lecturers after you leave. This is important when it comes to job application. This is where I got repaid by my thank-you emails to 3 of my lecturers after I graduated, which I sent on an impulse.]
Probably as you know by now my early job applications aren't going so well: I got rejected by MFA after the grueling 2nd round assessment, while the MINDEF job process is aggravating, to put it mildly. Sending wrong emails, notifying me of stuff last minute, getting my application essay lost in the email, taking ages to reply... ugh. But it's ok. You can't expect everything to go your way. And what does it say of my faith in the Lord, if I'm put down after such a minor setback? I know things will work out the way He wants it to.
See you guys this Saturday! :)
- Ivan -
***
To Kenneth,
Are you going to give me back "Loving God with all your mind" first? You seem to have a long list of reading ahead hahahaha.
Growing Deep in Faith is good stuff and easy reading. As for CS Lewis, besides Narnia his easiest book is probably Screwtape Letters, might be an easier book to pick up first. Four Loves has been on my bookshelf for a LONG time. I haven't read it.
In short, I like your reading list.
It took me a long time to get around to it, but I'm finally reading the modern Christian classic The Celebration of Discipline, by Richard Foster. Seriously the best book for the current season of my life.
Finally, to respond to your other post:
"Human choices do not and cannot alter God's action or his plan".
Are you so sure about that? I actually think we can, you know. Not God's overall plan for the world or His ultimate plan for salvation, but I think whether we repent, how we pray, etc. has led God to change His mind before. How about Moses' plea after the people burnt the golden calf, or the city of Nineveh repenting to avoid destruction?
Of course, this does not detract from God's overall sovereignty, which I definitely agree with.
Wow we set an Oriole record at Botanics yesterday. 16 people! Nice.
How's my February? Well I'm moving into Phase 2 of Job Hunt, which is expanding my job search parameters a bit, haha. My account is now up and running on Careers@Gov and constantly monitoring for whatever new jobs that strike my fancy... finally got resume, referees, etc etc down pat so I don't have to scramble around filling out forms and stuff! [By the way, advice to JC, poly and uni people: please stay in touch with at least 2 of your favourite teachers / lecturers after you leave. This is important when it comes to job application. This is where I got repaid by my thank-you emails to 3 of my lecturers after I graduated, which I sent on an impulse.]
Probably as you know by now my early job applications aren't going so well: I got rejected by MFA after the grueling 2nd round assessment, while the MINDEF job process is aggravating, to put it mildly. Sending wrong emails, notifying me of stuff last minute, getting my application essay lost in the email, taking ages to reply... ugh. But it's ok. You can't expect everything to go your way. And what does it say of my faith in the Lord, if I'm put down after such a minor setback? I know things will work out the way He wants it to.
See you guys this Saturday! :)
- Ivan -
***
To Kenneth,
Are you going to give me back "Loving God with all your mind" first? You seem to have a long list of reading ahead hahahaha.
Growing Deep in Faith is good stuff and easy reading. As for CS Lewis, besides Narnia his easiest book is probably Screwtape Letters, might be an easier book to pick up first. Four Loves has been on my bookshelf for a LONG time. I haven't read it.
In short, I like your reading list.
It took me a long time to get around to it, but I'm finally reading the modern Christian classic The Celebration of Discipline, by Richard Foster. Seriously the best book for the current season of my life.
Finally, to respond to your other post:
"Human choices do not and cannot alter God's action or his plan".
Are you so sure about that? I actually think we can, you know. Not God's overall plan for the world or His ultimate plan for salvation, but I think whether we repent, how we pray, etc. has led God to change His mind before. How about Moses' plea after the people burnt the golden calf, or the city of Nineveh repenting to avoid destruction?
Of course, this does not detract from God's overall sovereignty, which I definitely agree with.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Human Choices and God's Sovereignty
Human choices are real and have consequences.
God works through human choices.
Human choices do not and cannot alter God's action or his plan.
God does not approve evil but may use it to further his ultimate plan of salvation and judgement for the world.
We are foolish to think we can thwart God.
Wisdom is shown in acting according to God's principles.
Kenneth
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Hey, actually I'm just posting to keep this blog going.
Someone post! I don't want to dominate this blog.
Keri and Ivan, I read your blogs btw.
Keri jia you for your studies! I can try helping you with math (I'll need a refresher for Amath) and physics stuff if you need. Yew Gin also.
My emotional (or spiritual?) well-being is stabilising. In my last few posts, I was scared of what will happen. I felt I was in an epic spiritual battle.
I used to be one of the most emo and sad ppl (last year) in my platoon. Now I think I'm one of the happier and positive ones. :) Yay!
But I was home the whole day today. I kept thinking, what should I do today? I wished to go out much but didn't know who I could go out with. So I didn't.
I got bored and felt down and troubled for a while...
Sometimes I can just get so quiet. And I hate it. I don't understand it.
Friendship is something key I want to invest my free time in army in. I need to. I'll be more busy with work in Uni later on.
Yesterday there was a small CNY celebration in Army. Surprisingly, all of us were given steamboat and "Lo Hei" to enjoy in Maju Camp. They put tables and chairs on the parade square and we were dressed in civilian clothing (shirt, jeans, belt) and we ate there. As we cooked the food, we were being cooked as well, by the scorching sun.
After that we went to some one-room flats for the elderly at Bukit Merah to give them some basic food like Milo, oranges. Felt weird. Its not a Church event.
In the evening I went to celebrate my Grandma's birthday. Thinking about it now, I think its the first time I ever did go and joined my Grandma's birthday celebration. As far as I can remember. My brother Keith and I went, my parents didn't go. And it was great. To me, it was a great time.
Next week I'm going (Tue - Thu) for some Medic course. I have to poke and get poked by a needle >.< (injection simulation).
The last week of Feb, I'm going to practice riding Motorcycle in army. I haven't rode since I passed out from driving course.
I'm going to take out my wisdom tooth (one side) on Tuesday, 1st March. I'll be on MC the rest of the week.
I'm going to either Taiwan or Thailand in June-July period.
I want to get a guitar. I know nuts about it but I'm probably going to get one. I can practice in my army bunk. (The bunk is the room with beds and cupboards for soldiers to stay in)
What guitar should I get?
I'm going to talk about books.
I read slowly and may have some mild reading disability but now I got a whole lot of (mostly) Christian books to read now.
I wasn't a reader. I only started after JC. When there was time.
Recently I kept getting stuck in this profound book "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis. I gave up.
I just started reading "Growing Deep in Faith" by Edmund Chan.
This is what I've got:
"The Conscience",
"Lord, I want to be Whole",
"The Reason for God",
"Loving God with all your Mind",
"The Pursuit of Holiness"
"Mentoring Paradigms"
"3096 Days" (by Natascha Kampusch)
"The Jesus I never knew"
"Building Left-Brain Power"
and my Devotional book: "My Utmost for His Highest"
(some Older Books I borrowed)
The whole Narnia Series
"Pray in the Spirit"
"Your Mind Matters"
" The Christian Family"
"The God who loves you" (an easier "replacement" for "The Four Loves")
"The Problem of Pain"
I also want to read "Surprised by Joy" and "The Screwtape Letters" (both by C.S. Lewis), "To Kill a Mockingbird" and some book like "Unlocking the Bible" which gives brief understanding to every book in the Bible.
So far the book (other than the Bible) most influential to my Christian ideas or knowledge of God is:
"Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis.
That made me a C.S. Lewis fan =p
The book that convicted me the most (maybe because I read that book during that time, somewhere in the middle of last year - thanks Claudia for lending it to me) is:
"Secondhand Jesus" by Glenn Packiam
Actually, "Manga Messiah" and "Manga Metamorphosis" convicted me a lot also. I remember times I couldn't help but cry (tear) reading those books. I think I learnt profound things in those seemingly simple books by actively putting myself in Jesus' and Paul's shoes.
The one book I constantly use for comfort:
"The Power of a Praying Teen" by Stormie Omartian.
Cheers
Kenneth :)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
VERY VERY BERRY IMPORTANT FOR ALL ORIOLE-IANS
Dear Oriole,
THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT POST, lots of update to be done so please read everything here okay!
1. Coming Sunday 13th Feb JYM is having a Valentine's Day special, everyone going to Botanics for games and fun. So let's go as a group, have fun in the sun, bring extra towel, change of clothes etc.. Get ready for action and little mess! PLS BE A SPORT K! dont pon ah cos got sun/fun/mess hahaha. reach St George's usual by 2pm, we leave from St George's okay!
2. Valentine's day packing of flowers/bouquets. if you are free on Saturday morning lemme know! i dont really know the exact time, am guessing like 10 am onwards, to help pack bouquets for our Vday Church Rebuilding Project fundraising project where we are delivering flowers to ppl who ordered within church the next day on Sunday.
3. Reminder to those who came today 6th Feb, to BUY YOUR PRESENT for Secret Valentine. those who didn't come (eg. esther, keri, meena, johnston) you guys shiok lor, haha someone will buy a present for you. NAH all is good, just come okay! remember budget is between 0-5 bucks.
4. ORIOLE MEMORY VERSE
OKAY this is VERY IMPORTANT. We (eunice, ivan, tim, myself) have a preliminary brainstorm and draft of a WONDERFUL skit for our Oriole MV which is due 5 March. So all we need getting done is to act and film everything. it is a very exciting and yet elaborate skit which involves the group and everyone:) everyone is a star. haha. so we need to get down to filming it ASAP and also we dont want to stress our camera guy Tim out so we want to give him enough runway time to do all the editing and stuff.
so i propose 19 Feb Saturday, we take out like Saturday MORNING and AFTERNOON to film? we CAN do it since we are all seasoned actors and super professional. haha. we can film within a day.
19 FEB can?
PLS PLS sms me at 91388428/ or reply via comments or your blog post k...
5. Get ready to pay Oriole Fund for Feb (yes i still owe Jan's fund)
6. Lunch ppl --> Ivan, Eunice, Tim, Hanna, Kenneth, Claudia --> pls get ready to pay for Feb's lunch to Sharlene! :)
THANK YOU!
PLs ah, respond k regarding 19th FEB :) or if you can help with bouquet making..
CLAUD
THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT POST, lots of update to be done so please read everything here okay!
1. Coming Sunday 13th Feb JYM is having a Valentine's Day special, everyone going to Botanics for games and fun. So let's go as a group, have fun in the sun, bring extra towel, change of clothes etc.. Get ready for action and little mess! PLS BE A SPORT K! dont pon ah cos got sun/fun/mess hahaha. reach St George's usual by 2pm, we leave from St George's okay!
2. Valentine's day packing of flowers/bouquets. if you are free on Saturday morning lemme know! i dont really know the exact time, am guessing like 10 am onwards, to help pack bouquets for our Vday Church Rebuilding Project fundraising project where we are delivering flowers to ppl who ordered within church the next day on Sunday.
3. Reminder to those who came today 6th Feb, to BUY YOUR PRESENT for Secret Valentine. those who didn't come (eg. esther, keri, meena, johnston) you guys shiok lor, haha someone will buy a present for you. NAH all is good, just come okay! remember budget is between 0-5 bucks.
4. ORIOLE MEMORY VERSE
OKAY this is VERY IMPORTANT. We (eunice, ivan, tim, myself) have a preliminary brainstorm and draft of a WONDERFUL skit for our Oriole MV which is due 5 March. So all we need getting done is to act and film everything. it is a very exciting and yet elaborate skit which involves the group and everyone:) everyone is a star. haha. so we need to get down to filming it ASAP and also we dont want to stress our camera guy Tim out so we want to give him enough runway time to do all the editing and stuff.
so i propose 19 Feb Saturday, we take out like Saturday MORNING and AFTERNOON to film? we CAN do it since we are all seasoned actors and super professional. haha. we can film within a day.
19 FEB can?
PLS PLS sms me at 91388428/ or reply via comments or your blog post k...
5. Get ready to pay Oriole Fund for Feb (yes i still owe Jan's fund)
6. Lunch ppl --> Ivan, Eunice, Tim, Hanna, Kenneth, Claudia --> pls get ready to pay for Feb's lunch to Sharlene! :)
THANK YOU!
PLs ah, respond k regarding 19th FEB :) or if you can help with bouquet making..
CLAUD
Monday, January 31, 2011
Airport Duty X_X
I'm craving to socialisezzz.
I think I'll go to SERVE tomorrow. (for one session)
Sometimes I have excess energy and sometimes I lack energy.
Wish I had some good friends I can go out with anytime I want...
For 4 days I'd been stuck in Changi Airport.
I spent long hours stuck in one small room with 3 other guys, when I'm not on patrol.
Ok Geez I think I'm revealing a bit too much. I'm not supposed to. Confidential.
The first day was okay. I guess I can say it was cozy and I got to know 2 more people better.
I bought some book about the brain to read in Changi and so I read it.
And you know, reading about how a Baby is so attracted to his mother's voice, how people's eyes' tend to dilate when they see someone they find attractive (and in turn the person who looks at the dilated eyes also tends to find the person looking at him/her more attractive), how our eye direction and stuff reveal emotional states, our mind's ability to infer the thoughts of others - theory of the mind so that we can communicate with people --- made me think of girls more..
Ahhhh I dont know why I'm revealing this but I've been thinking about girls a lot recently, for no apparent reason. And its a negative thing more than positive. "Negative energy"
The second day (last friday) I was BoReD. We count down the time when we're inside the room.
After a while my boredom got deeper. Like some "sharp" or "intense" boredom. Like Emptiness. Sianz. It feels like shit. It cripples my faith/confidence in the Lord and in myself. Its extremely hard to stay positive during that period. I think normal people rarely experience this but I do occasionally. I was probably more vulnerable to it after that stupid "mental attack" a few days back.
Hm since much of what I write here in this blog has been about my walk with God, and I feel a bit uncomfortable about it, I shall say this. This negativity. A few days ago - in Changi - after doing my devotions I thought, how desperate should we be in seeking God? I thought if anyone befriend's me and gets close to me that person would think I'm a bit weird/crazy (because they dont know the depth of my pain)...
--- Aiya, I hope you're not judging me for that. My sense of what's personal and what's not doesn't work well sometimes, like in the state of mind I'm in when I'm writing in this blog. I usually dont take into account much how people will take it reading what I write. And some of my army friends may have discovered the URL of this blog since one time I went to blog while playing LAN ---
The goodness of seeking God I get in my life does not seem to match up to that said in scripture.
I felt unsettled for a while. About how my whole walk with God was going. Not at peace. But now I am at peace. In all things God works for the good of those who love him! (Romans 8:28)
Hmm now I'm thinking what I should censor saying here because of the younger ones...
Since JYM camp there's this battle going on in my mind. I've been stuffing myself with scripture.
Its like a roller coaster ride where every few days it changes. First I'm winning, then I'm losing, then I'm winning, then I'm losing...
I'm holding on to Ephesians 6:10-20 about the Armour of God.
I'm going back to Changi again, tomorrow evening. Coming out on Sat night. I'll be burning the whole CNY. :(
But I'm cool with it. See you all next Sunday. I'll be looking forward to Sunday.
Btw theres one draft in this blog that has been a draft for quite some time.
Eunice I read it already heh.
Kenneth
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
WAH kenneth:) active blogger eh?
Guess what, this semester i have been learning about Psychiatric Nursing. And so we are learning ALL ABOUT mental health and illnesses. VERY VERY INTERESTING!
other than that, it is a crazy semester, but i really thank God for just day to day moments God placing ppl into my life:) makes it whole lot easier.
LAUGH. i love to laugh, and i realise during times of intense stress, deadlines, or just tiredness, LAUGHING is the way to go. funny thing is i have found myself laughing with/at ppl who are not say very close to me in school, laughing with bunch of hilarious friends and company. LAUGH.
Oriole, LAUGHING helps:)
Laugh at yourself too!
Meanwhile, pls remember this Sunday we are giving Hampers at the Block 1 residences at Holland V. Meet at Blk 1 itself okay, say about 2pm (along with JYM)? opposite cold storage i think. Our dear Pei Xuan is joining us:)
CLAUD
CLAUD
Guess what, this semester i have been learning about Psychiatric Nursing. And so we are learning ALL ABOUT mental health and illnesses. VERY VERY INTERESTING!
other than that, it is a crazy semester, but i really thank God for just day to day moments God placing ppl into my life:) makes it whole lot easier.
LAUGH. i love to laugh, and i realise during times of intense stress, deadlines, or just tiredness, LAUGHING is the way to go. funny thing is i have found myself laughing with/at ppl who are not say very close to me in school, laughing with bunch of hilarious friends and company. LAUGH.
Oriole, LAUGHING helps:)
Laugh at yourself too!
Meanwhile, pls remember this Sunday we are giving Hampers at the Block 1 residences at Holland V. Meet at Blk 1 itself okay, say about 2pm (along with JYM)? opposite cold storage i think. Our dear Pei Xuan is joining us:)
CLAUD
CLAUD
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A moment of acute Psychological pain
I'm down again. I just got a "mental attack". I'm going to openly say that I go through this occasionally. Just now for a moment I didn't feel like living... I felt specifically that, in the midst of the torment that was going on in my mind. For a moment, I felt a sharp sense of loneliness as well.
Its scary how I get these mood swings...and these specific periods of chaos and darkness in my mind.
I find it extremely difficult to describe in a logical way. I can't relate it much to common experiences we go through. Here is a more intense version of what I went through just now: http://oak08.blogspot.com/2009/08/pain.html
It doesn't all end when the "mental attack" is over. When the attack ends, I'm left weak and vulnerable. The stench of the horror of the attack lingers on for a long time, days or weeks.
Some people may think I put much effort into reading God's word or something to do with obeying God. At least thats what I sometimes get in Christmas cards.
I have to say that its not natural. The main motivation for me in disciplining myself to keep in tune with God is the relief from deep suffering. The overwhelming weight, uncontrollability and irrepressibility of the suffering constantly compels me to seek God.
Actually for this attack I can share what thoughts I had that probably led to that "mental attack" but I find it too personal to disclose... some of it.
I was troubled somewhere between 1st-2nd week of January. I was scared of not being in tune with God, not doing God's will for my life (I talked about it on this blog). On 16 Jan, Sun, during JYM worship I think I sensed God's peace (in a "quiet", "soft" way) along with the message that I shouldn't worry about not doing God's will. Its just a phase I have to go through. (I'm not sure if the previous sentence was made up by myself).
I hope its just a phase...
I struggle to live in victory. Why are the "wiles" of the devil always so hard against me?
I must take captive every thought (2 Corinthians 10:5) and think positive (Philippians 4:8).
Kenneth
Friday, January 21, 2011
A Close Shave!
Wow I almost thought I was going to get charged. (as in for a "Crime")
Charged for helping other sergeants' do area cleaning in their bunk without permission. Coz someone lost his $90+ jeans. And he just called me about 30mins ago and was raving mad at me. I just booked out at 4+, reached home 5+, and have to book back in by 11pm today for Guard duty tomorrow. That Sergeant (higher power than me, militarily) demanded that I go back to army camp and find his jeans by 7.30pm. He was in Smart 4 attire (greenish army uniform) and desperately looking for his civilian clothing to change to, and book out of army camp.
I didnt take his jeans...
My Sergeant Major was there this afternoon to inspect on area cleaning before we could book out and his standard is high. If we fail his expectation, we book out later. He can make us stay till at least 9pm when the original book out timing was 2pm. Many people werent at the army camp, some on course, on operation, off. So after we failed the inspection the first time I decided to look through all the bunks. I dunno why but I had the drive to. So I went it more than almost 15 bunks arranging everything nicely as they ought to be while most people were just slacking at their beds...
Its a bit weird for me to have done that, coz its like I go in a bunk and see an officer's stuff and arrange things for him. I go into my sergeant's bunk when my sergeants are inside and touch their stuff (help them arrange footwear, blanket, pillow...
While others were whining at later book out, I didnt. I didn't really feel the sianness of it.
I dont want to be proud of that. I just want to thank God he gave me the motivation to help others, the company.
So someone's jeans was missing and he blamed me for it because I couldnt name anyone else who entered the bunk.
I also thank God that I was suprisingly calm about it. Instead of getting angry with that worked up guy, I felt for him... Its like, loving your enemies can become quite easy, if you dont see them as enemies...
I almost took a Cab down to my army camp - its Maju Camp. Not only out of fear (although a sergeant wouldnt have the power to make me book in to camp like this, if I was accused for theft it may have become a big thing because there is theft constantly going on in my company and Sgt Major is treating it seriously), but also for compassion for the guy. (I hope Im not being proud of this...)
I tried calling people for help. But many people didnt pick up their phone. My handphone batt was going to go flat any moment. And then my COS called to say that the jeans had been found, hidden in someone else's bed pillow or blanket. Dont know who did it. Roughly 1-2 minutes later, my phone died. If my phone died earlier...
Isn't this like a God-thing?
First time I felt God was using me in a long time. Cool.
God is sovereign (in complete control) over everything. The good will be rewarded, the bad will be punished.
Love
Kenneth
Charged for helping other sergeants' do area cleaning in their bunk without permission. Coz someone lost his $90+ jeans. And he just called me about 30mins ago and was raving mad at me. I just booked out at 4+, reached home 5+, and have to book back in by 11pm today for Guard duty tomorrow. That Sergeant (higher power than me, militarily) demanded that I go back to army camp and find his jeans by 7.30pm. He was in Smart 4 attire (greenish army uniform) and desperately looking for his civilian clothing to change to, and book out of army camp.
I didnt take his jeans...
My Sergeant Major was there this afternoon to inspect on area cleaning before we could book out and his standard is high. If we fail his expectation, we book out later. He can make us stay till at least 9pm when the original book out timing was 2pm. Many people werent at the army camp, some on course, on operation, off. So after we failed the inspection the first time I decided to look through all the bunks. I dunno why but I had the drive to. So I went it more than almost 15 bunks arranging everything nicely as they ought to be while most people were just slacking at their beds...
Its a bit weird for me to have done that, coz its like I go in a bunk and see an officer's stuff and arrange things for him. I go into my sergeant's bunk when my sergeants are inside and touch their stuff (help them arrange footwear, blanket, pillow...
While others were whining at later book out, I didnt. I didn't really feel the sianness of it.
I dont want to be proud of that. I just want to thank God he gave me the motivation to help others, the company.
So someone's jeans was missing and he blamed me for it because I couldnt name anyone else who entered the bunk.
I also thank God that I was suprisingly calm about it. Instead of getting angry with that worked up guy, I felt for him... Its like, loving your enemies can become quite easy, if you dont see them as enemies...
I almost took a Cab down to my army camp - its Maju Camp. Not only out of fear (although a sergeant wouldnt have the power to make me book in to camp like this, if I was accused for theft it may have become a big thing because there is theft constantly going on in my company and Sgt Major is treating it seriously), but also for compassion for the guy. (I hope Im not being proud of this...)
I tried calling people for help. But many people didnt pick up their phone. My handphone batt was going to go flat any moment. And then my COS called to say that the jeans had been found, hidden in someone else's bed pillow or blanket. Dont know who did it. Roughly 1-2 minutes later, my phone died. If my phone died earlier...
Isn't this like a God-thing?
First time I felt God was using me in a long time. Cool.
God is sovereign (in complete control) over everything. The good will be rewarded, the bad will be punished.
Love
Kenneth
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Kenneth's 3rd week of Jan?
Hi, Kenneth here.
I have a "nights out" today so I can come out of army camp for the night. So here I am in the IRC lan shop in Beauty World writing this post. My platoon usually goes there when theres nights out to play Dota / Modern Warfare / CS. But I had this urge to blog now so here I am.
I may continue blogging form this post some time later when I have my journal to use as reference. About the details of the rather quiet but good week I had. Btw I may not be coming to church this sunday because of army.
My week has been quite good. Surprisingly good for a week in army. One of the best weeks in army I ever had in fact, come to think of it. I had nights out every day from monday to thursday (I usually get it once a week). It was a prayerful week - I prayed a lot! - and I had quite a lot of (somewhat) solitude time with God. A great time of growing spiritually, healing, training of character. I think God's peace was residing me, although I didnt at any moment feel it strongly. I was scared, 1-2 weeks back, of not being in the centre of God's will for my life (as I blogged about previously). I was scared of horrific experiences I had repeating itself. And experiences I had when I was certain that I did not have a peace or inner joy protecting me. The solution, as I see it, is to do and think what God wants me to do and think. Or to trust in God fully, that he would keep me from falling (Jude 1:24) and good will turn out of everything that is happening. In Cell Group last sunday Eunice asked what I meant or what I referred to when I said I wanted to Trust in God Fully. Its something like this. Along these lines.
Oh Im taking a break to play a dota match.
Ok Im done. Second time I used Phoenix. Quite fun.
Talking about Jealousy (as Esther did), I felt jealous today. I felt jealous of the many other boys in NS who lead a better NS life than I. My army camp, Maju Camp, was more sucky than I thought. (Its already crappy compared to other camps.) Being the first batch of soldiers in the unit serving in conventional warfare (like fighting in the jungle), we had a lot of teething problems.
I'm going to serve in Changi Airport for two weeks. My whole Chinese New Year period will be burnt. One sunday will be burnt as well. And they are unlikely to give us back extra off days like it supposed to be in normal camps. Like Im doing Guard Duty this Saturday but I dont get an Off because of it. Guard Duty in my camp is tiring. Compared to others camps. Last year December I would likely have been able to get more offs/leave if I was from a different, normal fighting fit soldier camp. I'll be going to Changi again in March. It really feels like a waste of time...
I took a course selection test recently and I just found out that I failed it. If I passed it I wouldnt have to go to Changi... I'll also be able to Stay out for a while (go home everyday instead of only weekends) and have a more relaxed and nice Re-service life.
I was a little angry about it. I felt like fighting for my rights for a while. This is unfairness... (except failing the test). But no. This is jealousy also. I became angry (to some extent) not because I know of bad things thats going to happen, but because I came to know others in NS are having it better than me. I'm treating this as a trial, a test. God's disciplining. To not care so much about myself. There are others worse off than me, and I am to love them as I love myself. So as much as I want to fight for myself (not exactly wrong), even more I should want to fight for them...
Even if we werent to talk about being too self-centered, jealousy is also bad in another way. Jealousy, like anxiety, doesnt help a situation. It just drags a person down.
I used to feel (or may still feel) jealous about other other people's confidence, intelligence, happiness, attractiveness, wealth, friends, even something like "normalness", etc. I more or less got over some of them. I'm in the midst of getting over some of them. I must look at the bigger picture and get over this NS-life jealousy as well.
Btw if you got a prayer request in this period of time, feel free to sms me about it. If you feel comfortable enough I guess.
Ok my time is up, Cya.
Give Thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His steadfast love endures forever.
:)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Esther's Jan
So just some highlights of my Jan so far...
Second day of school, just as I was about to get ready for school, I stepped on two piles of cat vomit -.- one after another. On my way down I realised there was a bit of cat vomit on my bag strap which went onto my shirt... Yikes. Haha and I thought it was better if I didn't tell my friend who I borrowed her jacket from I had vomit there :p Ahem. Anyway.
Second Week,
Cat vomited again (I think it's the food! :( ) and it went all over my bag ugh. Found this as I was getting ready for school again, so had to rush and change my bag.
School in general
Not as bad as I thought it would be :-)
Well me and my form teacher's been ignoring each other! So hoho. I'm fine with that.
Lessons can get pretty dry but my friends make it easier.
Although the day seems really long sometimes, the week seems to be passing too fast. I feel like I haven't accomplished much (study wise) and I find myself stressing over not accomplishing what I should rather than stressing over the homework instead! Heh which is quite stupid actually.
Half of Jan is over and my sweet 16 is coming! Honestly I still feel the same as 6 years ago! And instead of growing smarter I feel like I'm growing dumber! Le sigh. And looks like I'm going to be spending my birthday at this Discipline Camp in school -.- which my drama cca is hosting for the first time. (28th-29th) Not complaining! Who knows, maybe they'll give me a cake right? :) Or maybe I can be excused from whatever they've planned up their sleeves...
Haha just as I was typing, my sis had to say,
"OOOOH!"
Me," what?"
Sis," ... There's a fly in my drink"
Me," Oh... nevermind just drink it! It's nutritious"
And she did :D
So Spiritually speaking, I'm not as 'close' as God as I would've liked to be. It's like, there's no zzzap/sparkzzz, you know?! Mmmm, I think there's a part of me that stops this zzap! Maybe sin, but that's so vague. I'm praying He'll reveal to me whatever it is though :) (that's how it works right?)
Sometimes, even in JYM, it's like frustrating, because you know that there are people out there who love and worship God with all their hearts, and they can even testify "God told me this..." "I felt God saying...". Or sometimes they would burst out speaking in tongues and all. I know this shouldn't be the case and it's probably wrong in every way, but sometimes I feel a teensy bit jealous. Jealous because I can't feel what they're feeling, no matter how hard I try. It's like, why can't God touch me, like He did for them? I know I should be happy for them, that God's working in their lives, and I shouldn't question God's actions. Maybe now's not the right time. But there's just this small part of me that says, where have You left me?
Do any of you get that? Or is it just me.
I think the problem with me is that I don't live in a Job-like life. Somehow in a way I still feel resentful, I think, that other people have it easier in life. But I also know that some people have it much much much worse, so I shouldn't complain.
In any case, I was quite surprised at this 'jealousy' feeling that popped out of nowhere. I never thought I would feel jealous! Unhealthy feeling, I know :(
On a lighter note!
I thought this was really funny :)
Second day of school, just as I was about to get ready for school, I stepped on two piles of cat vomit -.- one after another. On my way down I realised there was a bit of cat vomit on my bag strap which went onto my shirt... Yikes. Haha and I thought it was better if I didn't tell my friend who I borrowed her jacket from I had vomit there :p Ahem. Anyway.
Second Week,
Cat vomited again (I think it's the food! :( ) and it went all over my bag ugh. Found this as I was getting ready for school again, so had to rush and change my bag.
School in general
Not as bad as I thought it would be :-)
Well me and my form teacher's been ignoring each other! So hoho. I'm fine with that.
Lessons can get pretty dry but my friends make it easier.
Although the day seems really long sometimes, the week seems to be passing too fast. I feel like I haven't accomplished much (study wise) and I find myself stressing over not accomplishing what I should rather than stressing over the homework instead! Heh which is quite stupid actually.
Half of Jan is over and my sweet 16 is coming! Honestly I still feel the same as 6 years ago! And instead of growing smarter I feel like I'm growing dumber! Le sigh. And looks like I'm going to be spending my birthday at this Discipline Camp in school -.- which my drama cca is hosting for the first time. (28th-29th) Not complaining! Who knows, maybe they'll give me a cake right? :) Or maybe I can be excused from whatever they've planned up their sleeves...
Haha just as I was typing, my sis had to say,
"OOOOH!"
Me," what?"
Sis," ... There's a fly in my drink"
Me," Oh... nevermind just drink it! It's nutritious"
And she did :D
So Spiritually speaking, I'm not as 'close' as God as I would've liked to be. It's like, there's no zzzap/sparkzzz, you know?! Mmmm, I think there's a part of me that stops this zzap! Maybe sin, but that's so vague. I'm praying He'll reveal to me whatever it is though :) (that's how it works right?)
Sometimes, even in JYM, it's like frustrating, because you know that there are people out there who love and worship God with all their hearts, and they can even testify "God told me this..." "I felt God saying...". Or sometimes they would burst out speaking in tongues and all. I know this shouldn't be the case and it's probably wrong in every way, but sometimes I feel a teensy bit jealous. Jealous because I can't feel what they're feeling, no matter how hard I try. It's like, why can't God touch me, like He did for them? I know I should be happy for them, that God's working in their lives, and I shouldn't question God's actions. Maybe now's not the right time. But there's just this small part of me that says, where have You left me?
Do any of you get that? Or is it just me.
I think the problem with me is that I don't live in a Job-like life. Somehow in a way I still feel resentful, I think, that other people have it easier in life. But I also know that some people have it much much much worse, so I shouldn't complain.
In any case, I was quite surprised at this 'jealousy' feeling that popped out of nowhere. I never thought I would feel jealous! Unhealthy feeling, I know :(
On a lighter note!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
a peek into what i have been up to
I AM SORRY ORIOLE for my silence on this lovely bustling blog. to one and all who have blogged, THANK YOU:)
Well for the past 1 month, starting mid Dec till now, mid Jan, i have been posted to the Obstetrics and Gynaecology (O&G) ward AND Paediatrics ward..
So basically it has been work for me from either 7am-3pm or 12.30pm-8.30pm and i loved both of my attachments.
What i have been up to?
- i have been carrying and feeding crying babies
- taking care of mothers who have either miscarried or chose to terminate their pregnancies
- i have observed vaginal delivery :)
- i have been kicked and pushed when trying to hold down a crying child when doctors were setting plug for him.
- i have been kicked and pushed by a kid when i was removing his plug
- i have been asked to remove a beatle from a patient's friend's pillow case --> trust me, a nurse does EVERYTHING. haha so i gotta remove the beatle, with a smile on my face, though that girl was squealing away.
- i have a small 8 year old girl who was admitted for a fracture giving me a slice of cake before she was discharged
- i have made friends with many kids AND their parents
- i have a small 5 year old girl call me a sister and giving me hugs and kisses
- i have patients who have HUGE lungs like mariah carey and CRY AND CRY NON STOP, they scream and NEVER stop, even when the father is there.
- i have cleaned up puke, vomitus, poo, urine of kids
- i have heard so many stories of parents who are so tired mentally and physically when they care for their child who is chronically ill and how they refuse to cry cos they want to keep a brave front.
- i have witnessed the love of fathers and mothers. AMAZING LOVE.
- i have witnessed tears well up in a dad's eyes in the delivery suite when his first daughter arrived on earth.
what is my point in sharing all these? BE A NURSE:)
HAHA no lah. I just wanted to say, everytime i am on attachments, everytime i deal with ppl, i see a lot, i learn a lot, a lot about love, about humans, about politics, about relationships, about life, about death, about suffering. Indeed life lessons and observations, and all these experiences really are so precious, you deal with these when you are a nurse. So this January this is what i have been up to, tiring, BUT always very satisfying and enriching.
Back to school for two weeks and then I will be back at NUH for my Mental Health posting at the Psych ward..
Something which someone once told me..
" It is not the number of years that matter, but the LIFE in your years".
Thinking about life, thinking about death, really what matters is the LIFE in my years, in our years, everyday as we awake, as we open our eyes, as we trudge to school, as we stone at bus-stops and flag for buses, as we drive here and there, as we hang out with friends post school, as we brush our teeth preparing to sleep, as we mug and do countless past year papers and Ten Year Series, as we go for tuition (ahem YewGin),
stop and think.. about the "LIFE" we are putting it, our every breath, our every breath of praise and worship unto Him, and how in every breath and waking moment He is in our everything, that everything we do matters because it adds to "Kingdom Moments".We make our days, how we live our lives, how we spend our days, how we see our days, how we use our days....
Okay Oriole, i will be seeing you guys in say about 15 hours' time.
:)
Love, Claud
Well for the past 1 month, starting mid Dec till now, mid Jan, i have been posted to the Obstetrics and Gynaecology (O&G) ward AND Paediatrics ward..
So basically it has been work for me from either 7am-3pm or 12.30pm-8.30pm and i loved both of my attachments.
What i have been up to?
- i have been carrying and feeding crying babies
- taking care of mothers who have either miscarried or chose to terminate their pregnancies
- i have observed vaginal delivery :)
- i have been kicked and pushed when trying to hold down a crying child when doctors were setting plug for him.
- i have been kicked and pushed by a kid when i was removing his plug
- i have been asked to remove a beatle from a patient's friend's pillow case --> trust me, a nurse does EVERYTHING. haha so i gotta remove the beatle, with a smile on my face, though that girl was squealing away.
- i have a small 8 year old girl who was admitted for a fracture giving me a slice of cake before she was discharged
- i have made friends with many kids AND their parents
- i have a small 5 year old girl call me a sister and giving me hugs and kisses
- i have patients who have HUGE lungs like mariah carey and CRY AND CRY NON STOP, they scream and NEVER stop, even when the father is there.
- i have cleaned up puke, vomitus, poo, urine of kids
- i have heard so many stories of parents who are so tired mentally and physically when they care for their child who is chronically ill and how they refuse to cry cos they want to keep a brave front.
- i have witnessed the love of fathers and mothers. AMAZING LOVE.
- i have witnessed tears well up in a dad's eyes in the delivery suite when his first daughter arrived on earth.
what is my point in sharing all these? BE A NURSE:)
HAHA no lah. I just wanted to say, everytime i am on attachments, everytime i deal with ppl, i see a lot, i learn a lot, a lot about love, about humans, about politics, about relationships, about life, about death, about suffering. Indeed life lessons and observations, and all these experiences really are so precious, you deal with these when you are a nurse. So this January this is what i have been up to, tiring, BUT always very satisfying and enriching.
Back to school for two weeks and then I will be back at NUH for my Mental Health posting at the Psych ward..
Something which someone once told me..
" It is not the number of years that matter, but the LIFE in your years".
Thinking about life, thinking about death, really what matters is the LIFE in my years, in our years, everyday as we awake, as we open our eyes, as we trudge to school, as we stone at bus-stops and flag for buses, as we drive here and there, as we hang out with friends post school, as we brush our teeth preparing to sleep, as we mug and do countless past year papers and Ten Year Series, as we go for tuition (ahem YewGin),
stop and think.. about the "LIFE" we are putting it, our every breath, our every breath of praise and worship unto Him, and how in every breath and waking moment He is in our everything, that everything we do matters because it adds to "Kingdom Moments".We make our days, how we live our lives, how we spend our days, how we see our days, how we use our days....
Okay Oriole, i will be seeing you guys in say about 15 hours' time.
:)
Love, Claud
just an update?
Hi Oriole.
I'll just look into my Journal and write roughly about my life this first two weeks of 2011.
Argh I'm having some trouble writing here. I'm itchy all over.
I just realised that within the last one hour of using my computer, I've gotten 5-10 mosquito bites. Okay that wasn't from my journal but what I'm going to write now (some of it) is.
On Monday, 4 Jan, I went to watch Narnia (the first Narnia movie I watched) with my relatives. Er, 3 females actually haha. Two cousins and one Aunt (who was a surprise guest). "Enough said". The movie was simple but it challenged me. To stand strong against evil.
The most important of my new year resolutions would be to:
1. First have a constant steadfast trust in God and learn to "Trust in God fully".
2. Second to stop (or lessen) thinking and talking about negative thoughts about myself.
On that same monday I went back to army, after a short December break and it felt nice actually. Felt like first day of school, saying hello to everyone. But the next day few days were BoRiNg. And I didn't have proper quiet time though I had time. Bad. I was conscious but stumped about Pride the whole week.
By the time Sat. came, I was troubled and unsettled. I was scared. Not sure why. On sunday I was glum. I sang for JYM, and it was a challenge to not give some negative impression through my body language or expressions because I particularly do not like to put on a front.
I was thinking of it during the Leaders' Commissioning time. I remember Pas. Henry sharing that he thought how wonderful it would be if we don't serve just with our strengths, what we are good at and hide our weaknesses. He received a Christmas card from someone who said she appreciated what Pas. Henry shared on the 2nd night (I think) of JYM camp. And Pas. Henry said "Be vulnerable" to one another (he was talking about care and fellowship). So I asked myself, to what extent was I supposed to show my "sianness" during worship? I felt lousy about myself. (it wasn't just about that instant of singing in JYM. For one thing, I'm not a leader in JYM or Army.) Its my whole ... like ambition? Everyone wants to achieve something. But I look at my character and shake my head...
That was what I was thinking about in just before cell group time last week.
In Cell group I had a short relief from it somehow but after that it became worse.
I felt so defeated. Like the seeds which landed on thorns and get choked. (parable of the sower)
I was down and it went on for the earlier part of this week. There's one guy in my platoon who recently likes to say a lot of bad stuff about me to me. Irritating. I was thinking of whether I should reveal what was said but I decided I shall not.
And there's a Christian also in my platoon who ... im not in very good terms with. And I can't find anyone in army that I can trust enough to share my feelings with...
Things soothed down the past few days.
I invested more time on the word of God this week. And maybe that was it. I suffered because I did not have my daily bread for a few days... (just maybe...)
I bought my first devotional book (Christian book used for devotions) on sunday: My Utmost For His Highest. Its not so easy to read.
1 Peter 5:7 is what I've been clinging onto past few days: "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Oh I just refreshed the blog and saw Claud's post. I started earlier than her (so my post is put earlier but I published later).
And wow I got a lot of imagery from reading that. And, nice post.
Keri, I may not have felt "darn competitive, like very competitive. Like deep inside... you wanna do so well and beat everyone." but it was certainly natural (like Ivan) for me to want to be better than others, especially in JC. Even in church sometimes, I think of where I stand... When I think of it I usually dismiss it as bad, prideful thoughts and try to ignore it. But its always there, somewhere. Grades for exams affected me quite a lot less than my scores relative to others.
Good night.
Kenneth
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Ivan's January
How's everyone doing in school? :) Hope everyone is settling into your year well!
My January is moving rather slowly. Applied to two ministries (those who didn't ask for my resume heh) and got one response, from MFA. They want me to go for their first round of selection on January 17th, so aye. Just prepping myself for that by reading up on all my Singaporean foreign policy stuff.
HOWEVER, they are supposed to let me know exact details to my newly created gmail account (since my hotmail ain't appropriate for job applications). But gmail seriously confused me - sometimes it indicates my email account as ivanirwinchan@gmail.com, and some others as ivan.irwin.chan@gmail.com. So I got worried sick that the MFA email didn't get through cos I gave them the wrong address.
So anyway, I just sent two emails to my gmail, testing each one, and I've come to the startling conclusion that the DOTS DON'T MATTER AT ALL!
[by the way, my hotmail is still my primary so DON'T send stuff to my gmail thanks]
Just hope they reply me soon... and the folk at MINDEF too. In the meantime it's probably time to finally do up that resume and expand my job hunt.
On the flip side, it means more time for serving God now, and my time in Oriole is most definitely extended.
***
Anyway shoutouts to Oriole:
Kenneth - regarding humility. i think the thing about being humble is just to not consider yourself or your needs at all. one does not stop being proud by thinking, "oh, I must be humble". Humility is best learnt or demonstrated in a relationship, by putting that person - or God - above yourself and your wants, rights, etc. good for all of us to reflect on. :)
Claud - AY!
Keri - it was very natural for me to have that mentality... so anxious to be better than others in class. in that sense being in RI was both good and bad; bad that i absorbed that kinda competitiveness from everyone, but good that I got humbled in learning there are a LOT of people smarter than me. :D
by the way. good to see you are enjoying your PE lessons in MGS.
Sharlene - shouldn't "fudgie" be used for a brown hamster? shouldn't this guy be like "vanilla swirly" or something? hope school's better, and good job on that Chinese B3. That's a good result, to me. Haha
Esther - how are things with the form teacher now? hope things will pan out for a blessed sec 4 year ahead... with a mission trip inside, maybe. If God wills!
Deborah - you didn't study or listen AT ALL last year? colour me surprised. hope your throat is better!
Eunice - once you have time after finishing work you should blog on the journey God has taken you in your Os! Congrats again, by the way. :)
Tim - hope it's ALL GOOD IN THE HOOD
Yew Gin - don't play so much Sudden Attack hor. got to balance the studies and the gaming well this year.
Hannah and Geoff - how's secondary school life! first secondary school test usually much harder than primary school hor. watch out for it. my math plummeted from 90+ in P6 down to 54 for my 1st sec1 test. shocked my mum, i still remember.
Meena - hope you're doing well and can come this week! haven't seen you the whole of 2011!
Joshua - och aye we haven't forgotten you mae laddae. hope you're not freezing to death in scotland. and if you can update us on how you're doing through this blog that would be awesome.
My January is moving rather slowly. Applied to two ministries (those who didn't ask for my resume heh) and got one response, from MFA. They want me to go for their first round of selection on January 17th, so aye. Just prepping myself for that by reading up on all my Singaporean foreign policy stuff.
HOWEVER, they are supposed to let me know exact details to my newly created gmail account (since my hotmail ain't appropriate for job applications). But gmail seriously confused me - sometimes it indicates my email account as ivanirwinchan@gmail.com, and some others as ivan.irwin.chan@gmail.com. So I got worried sick that the MFA email didn't get through cos I gave them the wrong address.
So anyway, I just sent two emails to my gmail, testing each one, and I've come to the startling conclusion that the DOTS DON'T MATTER AT ALL!
[by the way, my hotmail is still my primary so DON'T send stuff to my gmail thanks]
Just hope they reply me soon... and the folk at MINDEF too. In the meantime it's probably time to finally do up that resume and expand my job hunt.
On the flip side, it means more time for serving God now, and my time in Oriole is most definitely extended.
***
Anyway shoutouts to Oriole:
Kenneth - regarding humility. i think the thing about being humble is just to not consider yourself or your needs at all. one does not stop being proud by thinking, "oh, I must be humble". Humility is best learnt or demonstrated in a relationship, by putting that person - or God - above yourself and your wants, rights, etc. good for all of us to reflect on. :)
Claud - AY!
Keri - it was very natural for me to have that mentality... so anxious to be better than others in class. in that sense being in RI was both good and bad; bad that i absorbed that kinda competitiveness from everyone, but good that I got humbled in learning there are a LOT of people smarter than me. :D
by the way. good to see you are enjoying your PE lessons in MGS.
Sharlene - shouldn't "fudgie" be used for a brown hamster? shouldn't this guy be like "vanilla swirly" or something? hope school's better, and good job on that Chinese B3. That's a good result, to me. Haha
Esther - how are things with the form teacher now? hope things will pan out for a blessed sec 4 year ahead... with a mission trip inside, maybe. If God wills!
Deborah - you didn't study or listen AT ALL last year? colour me surprised. hope your throat is better!
Eunice - once you have time after finishing work you should blog on the journey God has taken you in your Os! Congrats again, by the way. :)
Tim - hope it's ALL GOOD IN THE HOOD
Yew Gin - don't play so much Sudden Attack hor. got to balance the studies and the gaming well this year.
Hannah and Geoff - how's secondary school life! first secondary school test usually much harder than primary school hor. watch out for it. my math plummeted from 90+ in P6 down to 54 for my 1st sec1 test. shocked my mum, i still remember.
Meena - hope you're doing well and can come this week! haven't seen you the whole of 2011!
Joshua - och aye we haven't forgotten you mae laddae. hope you're not freezing to death in scotland. and if you can update us on how you're doing through this blog that would be awesome.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
HELLO, okay first of all the reason I'm online now is cos I didn't go to school. I'm sick :( I have laryngitis but luckily no fever, so I cannot talk hahaha i can try but nothing comes out.
I hope you all had a good few days of school :) For me school was good and i'm actually missing it right now!
So yup ok since it's a new year, on to my new year resolutions for school:
1. Study
2. Listen during class
Yeah that's pretty much it, i didn't do either of those last year heh:) BUT I WILL! must try at least right or i won't get anywhere.
Okaay, that's all. Need to study. Test tomorrow.
-Deborah:)
I hope you all had a good few days of school :) For me school was good and i'm actually missing it right now!
So yup ok since it's a new year, on to my new year resolutions for school:
1. Study
2. Listen during class
Yeah that's pretty much it, i didn't do either of those last year heh:) BUT I WILL! must try at least right or i won't get anywhere.
Okaay, that's all. Need to study. Test tomorrow.
-Deborah:)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
First day of school!
So today we were told of our new teachers and stuff. Unfortunately my new form teacher is a really annoying and a biased (i'm not swearing) woman who doesn't have good impressions of me since the Germany trip last year. :( of all people right??
Apparently she thinks I'm a... alright never mind.
The four days of 2011 has been pretty forgettable but then I realised that I've been taking things for granted now a days. It's so easy, you know? Human nature I guess.
I'm pretty excited how this year is going to be a challenge to me -- mugging and all. I haven't been doing that since Sec 1 (enjoy life right?? :-) )
heh just a random pic ;) (dont kill me keri)
xx Esther
Apparently she thinks I'm a... alright never mind.
The four days of 2011 has been pretty forgettable but then I realised that I've been taking things for granted now a days. It's so easy, you know? Human nature I guess.
I'm pretty excited how this year is going to be a challenge to me -- mugging and all. I haven't been doing that since Sec 1 (enjoy life right?? :-) )
heh just a random pic ;) (dont kill me keri)
xx Esther
HELLO:)
Hey Oriole!
Today i started my horrible JC life in my horrible school:( The worse thing is i started lessons already and i have homework too. NO ORIENTATION.NO FUN ICE BREAKERS.RUNNING 6 ROUNDS IN THE AFTERNOON SUN. That's how i got started on my first day at school:(
OK! YAY let me fill this blog with my hammy pictures:D I NAMED HIM FUDGIE:D:D
This is him a few days ago^^
This is him now! he's grown so much right! so furry now:D
ok byebye~~
Today i started my horrible JC life in my horrible school:( The worse thing is i started lessons already and i have homework too. NO ORIENTATION.NO FUN ICE BREAKERS.RUNNING 6 ROUNDS IN THE AFTERNOON SUN. That's how i got started on my first day at school:(
OK! YAY let me fill this blog with my hammy pictures:D I NAMED HIM FUDGIE:D:D
This is him a few days ago^^
ok byebye~~
Sunday, January 2, 2011
HEYEYEY
Great spending time and playing them weird games at Haato today:)
We rock oriole! We must remember to keep that awesome ownage up;)
Anyway tomorrow is a holiday cuz we're studying(phew) so yes, remmeber to cherish it! All the best before school starts. Don't panick/get scared! Pray:) Especially you Geoff and Hannah:)Cuz you're gonna be big now an in sec1! Hehe. Fun.
I'm so nervous. I don't wanna be like the worst in my class or something:( I think I have too much pressure to kick butt every year:( and this year all the small butt kicked are getting bigger! EEEE... BELL CURVE.
I'm scaredddd. I haven't been studyingggg.... What if I can't do my worrkkkk.... then everyone will be better than me in my already not so average class... ARGH.
I know, my mentality sucks, because I think that you're only good if you're better than everyone in your class.
EEE....
PRESSURE.
PRAY.
CONQUER.
Ok enough.
Keri so selfish.
I wish you all a wonderful school year:)
May your pockets be heavy and your hearts be light:)
-Irish saying.
XOXO
KERI!!!!
We rock oriole! We must remember to keep that awesome ownage up;)
Anyway tomorrow is a holiday cuz we're studying(phew) so yes, remmeber to cherish it! All the best before school starts. Don't panick/get scared! Pray:) Especially you Geoff and Hannah:)Cuz you're gonna be big now an in sec1! Hehe. Fun.
I'm so nervous. I don't wanna be like the worst in my class or something:( I think I have too much pressure to kick butt every year:( and this year all the small butt kicked are getting bigger! EEEE... BELL CURVE.
I'm scaredddd. I haven't been studyingggg.... What if I can't do my worrkkkk.... then everyone will be better than me in my already not so average class... ARGH.
I know, my mentality sucks, because I think that you're only good if you're better than everyone in your class.
EEE....
PRESSURE.
PRAY.
CONQUER.
Ok enough.
Keri so selfish.
I wish you all a wonderful school year:)
May your pockets be heavy and your hearts be light:)
-Irish saying.
XOXO
KERI!!!!
Humility
The idea of humility perplexes me. Pride - the deadliest sin - is so subtle, so sly, and so widely applicable. And I don't think you would know what kind things I'm referring to.
I think God is trying to teach me something about it.
Any thoughts about it?
Kenneth
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Dearest Oriole,
I am back! Well I had a really nice end to 2010 in Thailand Ban Chang, seeing familiar faces, painting and doing up Bethlehem House (an orphanage cum house for children at risk or orphans). The trip was a good balance between work and play, and of course foooood. :)
Meanwhile, it was very heartening to see the blog up and running and Orioleans blogging. haha.
First JYM of 2011 tomorrow, and as i was reflecting last Sunday during JYM about what we are thankful for, I was amazed at how much God has been faithful to EVERYONE, how He saw JYM through so much, and really looking around I see the place where i grew up, and the place where everyone else is home and also living life. We Oriole will have a fantastic year ahead together alright my loves?
Clauddd
I am back! Well I had a really nice end to 2010 in Thailand Ban Chang, seeing familiar faces, painting and doing up Bethlehem House (an orphanage cum house for children at risk or orphans). The trip was a good balance between work and play, and of course foooood. :)
Meanwhile, it was very heartening to see the blog up and running and Orioleans blogging. haha.
First JYM of 2011 tomorrow, and as i was reflecting last Sunday during JYM about what we are thankful for, I was amazed at how much God has been faithful to EVERYONE, how He saw JYM through so much, and really looking around I see the place where i grew up, and the place where everyone else is home and also living life. We Oriole will have a fantastic year ahead together alright my loves?
Clauddd
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